Aging

The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully

Measure of the Heart: A Father's Alzheimer's, A Daughter's Return

Mary Ellen Geist decided to leave her job as a CBS Radio anchor to return home to Michigan when her father's Alzheimer's got to be too much for her mother to shoulder alone. She chose to live her life by a different set of priorities: to be guided by her heart, not by outside accomplishment and recognition.

The New York Times wrote a front page story on Mary Ellen on Thanksgiving 2005. It was one of the most e-mailed stories for the month. Through her own story and through interviews with doctors and other women who've followed the "Daughter Track"--leaving a job to care for an aging parent--Geist offers emotional insights on how to encourage interaction with the loved one you're caring for; how to determine daily tasks that are achievable and rewarding; how the personality of the patient affects the caregiving and the progression of the diseases; as well as invaluable advice about how caregivers can take care of themselves while accomplishing the Herculean task of constantly caring for others.

Geist's years in journalism allow her to report on Boomers' caretaking dilemmas with professional objectivity, and her warm voice brings compassion and insight to one of the most difficult stituations a son or daughter may face during his or her life.

My Mother, Your Mother: Embracing "Slow Medicine," the Compassionate Approach to Caring for Your Aging Loved Ones

What's the right thing to do for mom and dad as they get older?

Thanks to advances in science and medicine, more of our parents are living longer than ever before. And though we are rewarded with more time with the people we love, we are also faced with new sets of complications—more diseases, more disability, more need for support and careful judgments. Yet while our health care system may help people live to an older age, it doesn't perform so well when decline eventually sets in. We want to do the best thing but are overwhelmed with the staggering choices we face.

Geriatrician Dennis McCullough has spent his life helping families to cope with their parents' aging and eventual final passage, experiences he faced with his own mother. In this comforting and much-needed book, he recommends a new approach, which he terms "Slow Medicine."

Shaped by common sense and kindness, grounded in traditional medicine yet receptive to alternative therapies, Slow Medicine advocates for careful anticipatory "attending" to an elder's changing needs rather than waiting for crises that force acute medical interventions—an approach that improves the quality of elders' extended late lives without bankrupting their families financially or emotionally. As Dr. McCullough argues, we need to learn that time and kindness are sometimes more important and humane at these late stages than state-of-the-art medical interventions.

My Mother, Your Mother will help you learn how to:

—form an early and strong partnership with your parents and siblings;
—strategize on connecting with doctors and other care providers;
—navigate medical crises;
—create a committed Advocacy Team;
—reach out with greater empathy and awareness; and
—face the end-of-life time with confidence and skill.

Although taking care of those who have always cared for us is not an easily navigated time of life, My Mother, Your Mother will help you and your family to prepare for this complex journey. This is not a plan for getting ready to die; it is a plan for understanding, for caring, and for helping those you love live well during their final years. And the time to start is now.

The Circle - A Walk with Dementia

Sally Smith, whose inspiring personal account--closing the family home and moving her mother into an assisted living facility--resulted in a book that critics have said is healing, hilarious and very helpful to those of us sharing similar experiences. This manuscript, entitled The Circle, was given as a gift to the Medical University of South Carolina and published to raise awareness and support for research into Alzheimers disease, Parkinsons disease, dementia, vision and hearing loss and other age-related problems. 100% of the net proceeds will benefit research into these issues.

I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething

I bought a new wrinkle cream.
If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month.
Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks.
I ate it.

As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging: LASIK surgery, industrial-strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty-ninth birthday parties. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she turned fifty, she couldn’t even bear to say the word.

In I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare. From the perils of catalog-ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all.

So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor! Just don’t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper. Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh-out-loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.

Living With Purpose in a Worn-Out Body: Spiritual Encouragement for Older Adults

LIVING WITH PURPOSE IN A WORN-OUT BODY is an exploration of the inner life shared by many persons in nursing homes and retirement centers. With compassion and honesty, Buchanan gives voice to mingled feelings of loss, gratitude, resignation, courage, loneliness, and love. Buchanan lets readers know the difficult feelings of those living an assisted life: the ambivalence about being alive so long, the struggle against self-pity, the frustrations of limited strength and movement. She also mines the joys of living: laughter among friends, seeing grandchildren grow up, sifting through happy memories. Well chosen passages from the Psalms and New Testament stir feelings of hope and a trust in God's will, allowing the reader to respond with the joy and fortitude of faith.

Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders

Mary Pipher, author of the bestselling and groundbreaking Reviving Ophelia, which charts the troubled passage of girls into adolescence, has nimbly covered yet another psychological passage: that into old age, which May Sarton called "a foreign country."

Pipher reveals that the greatest shame for today's elders--most of whom survived the Depression--is not being self-sufficient. The majority of them stoically prefer to keep their feelings to themselves, and this is why it's so difficult to convince older parents to accept or even discuss such issues as physical and mental health, finances, eldercare, or living wills. This directly conflicts with the openness of their children, who grew up in the era of "free love" and were influenced by society (and the advent of psychology in the 1950s and popularization of therapy) to talk frankly about emotions. While a boomer can easily talk with a friend about marriage difficulties or even surgery, an elder is likely to find admitting such "weaknesses" abhorrent.

Another Country includes excerpts of sessions with dozens of Pipher's psychology patients, interspersed with not-so-obvious advice for sensitively communicating with the elderly. Some interviews are grim: one woman hallucinated that rodents were running through her house; she was so desperate for company from her family, but too proud to ask them to stop by, that she invented her own visitors. But the breakthroughs in communication Pipher is able to accomplish, sometimes with the help of grandchildren as intermediaries, are startling and thoroughly encouraging. (For example, the animals the woman was imagining disappeared after she received company regularly.)

Pipher cared for her dying mother for a "horrid," guilt-filled year while this book was being written and says that she wanted "to help others in my situation feel less alone." She also aims to help each generation understand the other. In these goals she's succeeded brilliantly. Any adult struggling with issues with their parents, especially mortality, will find Another Country an indispensable source of suggestions and support. --Erica Jorgensen

Mary Pipher's phenomenal New York Times bestseller-a book about us and our parents...

"[Pipher] ventures into communities and then returns to explain their truths and ways of being to the rest of us in clear, clean English. Totally accessible...[Another Country] is a compassionate...look at the disconnect between baby boomers and their aging parents or grandparents." -USAToday

There are more older people in America today than ever before. They are our parents and grandparents, our aunts and uncles and in-laws.They are living longer, but in a culture that has come to worship youth-a culture in which families have dispersed, communities have broken down, and older people are isolated. Meanwhile, adults in two-career families are struggling to divide their time among their kids, their jobs, and their aging parents-searching for the right words to talk about loneliness, forgetfulness, or selling the house.

Another Country is a field guide to this rough terrain for a generation of baby boomers who are finding themselves unprepared to care for those who have always cared for them. Psychologist and bestselling writer Mary Pipher maps out strategies that help bridge the gaps that separate us from our elders. And with her inimitable combination of respect and realism, she offers us new ways of supporting each other-new ways of sharing our time, our energy, and our love.

"In Another Country, [Pipher] observes that to grow old for many people in today's fragmented, age-phobic, age-segregated America is to inhabit a foreign country, isolated, disconnected and misunderstood."-New York Times

"Pipher explores how today's mobile, individualistic, media-drenched culture prevents so many dependent old people, and the relatives trying to do right by them, from getting what they need...her insights will help people of several generations."-The Washington Post

"[Pipher] wrote [Another Country] to help Boomers like herself better understand their parents and grandparents and to glimpse what might await them in their old age."-Chicago Tribune

"Mary Pipher urges baby boomers to stay in tune with their elderly parents' needs...With average life expectancy now in the mid-70s and 2 million Americans turning 65 each year-a number that will skyrocket as the baby boomer generation ages-the stakes are raised for families and societies alike."-People

"The author of Reviving Ophelia unflinchingly takes us into the heart of this largely uncharted territory."-Rocky Mountain News

"A field guide to old age, combining personal stories with social theory."-Boston Globe

"Dr. Pipher sees aging from a broader perspective. [She] emphasizes the need for the elderly to become elders-people who can help us find a deep structure for our communities-[and] she makes a persuasive case for roots."-Christian Science Monitor

"This is a book that thoughtful Boomers can embrace as their own...Another Country looks at issues like care-giving, death, generational relations and the resiliency many elders display in old age. It offers advice on improving our relationships with other generations and with understanding our own passing years."-St. Petersburg Times

"Rich in stories and full in details....For people wondering about their parents' or more poignantly, their own aging."-St. Louis Post-Dispatch

"[Mary Pipher] comes across as neither saint nor scold. [Another Country is] not a how-to book, but a how-to-think book."-Minnesota Star Tribune

Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being

Dr. Weil has raised dispensing health advice to an art form. Instead of making his audience feel inadequate or guilty about bad habits, he seems to subconsciously convince readers to do better merely by presenting health facts in a non-threatening way. Healthy Aging is his most scientifically technical book yet (you'll learn all about enzymes like telomerase and cell division and the chemistry behind phytonutrients like indole-3-carbinol, and the connection between cancer and other degenerative diseases like diabetes) yet by far his most fascinating.

His main mission here is to recommend "aging gracefully," which he considers accepting the process instead of fighting it. As the director of the country's leading integrative-medicine clinic (combining the best of traditional and alternative worlds), of course he disses Botox and the slew of $100-a-jar face creams out there. It's also no surprise that he focuses on proper nutrition, moderate exercise, and meditation and rest among his "12-point program for healthy aging." (Triathletes and exercise addicts should take special note of the research linking excessive exercise and ALS, or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.) He occasionally references his earlier works, including 8 Weeks to Optimum Health. But the most eye-opening sections are those that discuss the spirituality of aging and its emotional aspects. "Aging can bring frailty and suffering, but it can also bring depth and richness of experience, complexity of being, serenity, wisdom, and its own kind of power and grace," he writes. At 63, Weil is still a bit shy of senior status, but is aging well indeed, with the legacy of his late 93-year-old mother (who's touchingly eulogized by Weil in this book) to guide him.--Erica Jorgensen

In each of his widely acclaimed, best-selling books, Dr. Andrew Weil has been an authoritative and companionable guide through a uniquely effective combination of traditional and nontraditional approaches to health and healthy living. Now he gives us a book about aging that is unlike any other. Drawing on the new science of biogerontology (the biology of aging) as well as on the secrets of healthy longevity — diet, activity and attitude — Dr. Weil explains that there are a myriad of things we can do to keep our bodies and minds in good working order through all phases of life. Hugely informative, practical, and uplifting, Healthy Aging is infused with the engaging candor and common sense that have made Dr. Weil our most trusted source on healthy living.

With detailed information on:

-Learning to eat right: Following the anti-inflammatory diet, Dr. Weil’s guide to the nutritional components of a healthy lifestyle

-Separating myth from fact about the would-be elixirs of life extension — herbs, hormones, and anti-aging “medicines”

-Learning exercise, breathing and stress-management techniques to benefit your mind and body

-Understanding the science behind the aging process

-Keeping record of your life lessons to share with loved ones

The Complete Eldercare Planner, Second Edition: Where to Start, Which Questions to Ask, and How to Find Help

"The simple truth about elders is this: they want their lives to be validated, and they do not want to die alone," writes eldercare consultant Joy Loverde in her preface to the second edition of The Complete Eldercare Planner. While that desire is entirely valid and compelling, there is an equally real parallel reality: caring for elders is a formidable responsibility, a sometimes daunting maze of financial, medical, personal, legal, and logistical issues. Acutely aware of both truths, Loverde's goal is to provide the caregiver the support and efficient, practical guidance he or she needs to be able to enjoy the often-rewarding and moving experience of caring for an aging loved one. And in an era when the fastest growing segment of the population is those 80 and older (among those, the majority are women), it becomes increasingly important for caregivers, who are themselves one day going to need care, to be informed about eldercare facts.

With a clarity and authority that comes from years of consulting experience, Loverde shares techniques and step-by-step tactics for all aspects of eldercare, from how to first broach the topic with an elder that he or she needs care and finding the best insurance coverage to emergency preparedness and managing the process of dying. Thirteen chapters are organized by a series of plans that instruct and advise the caregiver on how to research, prepare for, and manage a particular issue. An "Action Checklist" and, when applicable, a list of low-cost or free resources punctuate each chapter's end. The chapters on legal matters (estate planning, insurance fraud), money (cost-cutting strategies), and insurance (options beyond Medicare, supplementary coverage, long-term policies) will be particularly helpful to those first grappling with their elder's financial position. While on occasion Loverde's recommendations may seem vague--in some cases there are too many variables for the author be more specific without sacrificing relevancy to all readers--The Complete Eldercare Planner is an accessible, comprehensive, and thoughtful resource that will inspire caregivers in their pursuit of quality health care for the aging. --Rebecca Wright

"Am I doing the right thing?" "I work full-time -- how can I be in two places at once?" "Who's going to pay for Mom's home care?" "How do I bring up sensitive subjects like their money, moving, and not driving?" "Do we need long-term-care insurance?" "Wait! Do I really want Dad to move in?" "Where do my parents keep their legal documents?" "Do they have a will?" Caring for elderly loved ones can be a full-time job--on top of regular work and family responsibilities. How can you cope?

The answer is Joy Loverde's The Complete Eldercare Planner, now fully revised and updated with the latest information to help you plan ahead and manage real-life eldercare crises. Everything you need is on these pages, with essential checklists, practical communication tips, free and low-cost resources, web-sites, step-by-step action plans, questions to ask the professionals, record-keeping forms, and The Documents Locator,™ which helps you to always have access to critical paperwork. Here's a sample of what you'll find inside:

EFFECTIVE PLANNING: Where to start -- Getting caught off-guard
COMMUNICARING: Opening up the dialogue -- Turning conflict into cooperation -- Getting everyone in the family to pitch in
CAREGIVERS: How to tell when your elder needs help -- Sharing the care -- Avoiding burnout
EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS: Managing medications -- Coping with hospitalization
MONEY MATTERS: The cost of long-term care -- Ready cash
LEGAL MATTERS: Estate planning -- Elder advocacy
INSURANCE: Getting the coverage you need -- Beyond Medicare
HOUSING: Home suite home -- When Mom or Dad moves in
SAFE AND SECURE: Minimizing distress over distance -- Accident-proofing the home
TRANSPORTATION: When it is no longer safe to drive -- Alternative transportation
HEALTH AND WELLNESS: Taking charge of health -- Communicating with the doctor
DEATH AND DYING: End-of-life issues -- Saying good-bye
QUALITY OF LIFE: Aging with disability -- Family power
THE DOCUMENTS LOCATOR™

The Body Knows... How to Stay Young: Healthy-Aging Secrets from a Medical Intuitive